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  Chapter Sixteen

  Standing under Nate’s porch light, Hailey felt her confidence begin to waiver. Leaving everything she’d acquired in New York to come home felt like the right decision, especially when it came to the business choices. But, the piece of the puzzle that was Nate still felt a little disjointed.

  There was no denying the chemistry between them, but she knew he was holding back, trying to figure out if she was someone he could trust.

  To be honest, she was holding back too. She hadn’t told him about her employment situation.

  It was time to put all the cards on the table. Maybe if he knew there was nothing waiting for her in the city, he’d trust that she wasn’t going to leave on a whim.

  He opened the door and greeted her with a warm smile. After helping her out of her coat and hanging it on the coat tree, he wrapped an arm around her shoulder.

  Wordlessly.

  She let her body collapse into his. He tightened his clutch, holding her up as they walked into the living room.

  He had the tree lights on and a fire in the fireplace in the otherwise dimly lit room. It was peaceful and felt like home.

  Like her apartment never felt.

  “Why would you ever want to move out of this house?” The words slipped from her mouth without a thought as she dropped down to the couch.

  He picked up the bottle of wine that was sitting on the coffee table and began working on the corkscrew. “It’s not my house.” He didn’t take his eyes from the wine bottle.

  She felt like she’d touched a nerve. “I only meant that this is quiet. Where are Anna and Lori?”

  “They went to see that Christmas movie at the theater in Bad Axe.” He handed her a glass of wine and she eased back into the couch, taking a sip. “I figured you could use a little time to just relax. It’s been a stressful couple of days for you.”

  Days? No, she’d been under pressure for weeks. “I need to talk to you about that. There’s something I want to come clean about.”

  Nate’s whole posture changed. Having filled a wine glass for himself, she’d expected him to settle in next to her, but instead, he leaned toward the corner, putting some distance between them.

  He probably expected her to say she was leaving.

  “There’s a reason I felt so passionate about Anna’s situation. I’ve been living through it. I lost my job in November.”

  He tipped his chin, looking at her curiously. After an uncomfortable silence he said, “I’m sorry. What happened?”

  She waved her hands in front of her face. “I’ll tell you all of the details later, but let me say what I need to first. By helping your sister today, I remembered why I wanted to go into law. Maybe it sounds childish and idealistic, but I really wanted to help people who have been wronged.”

  “That doesn’t sound childish. It sounds like you.”

  “For a long while now I’ve felt like I made this huge mistake. I was disillusioned by law, thought it all boiled down to money. When I finally took on a case that I felt passionate about, my bosses told me if I didn’t settle it or drop it, I would lose my job.”

  “And you didn’t back down.”

  She laid her head on the back cushion and turned so she was looking at him. “This whole year has been about loss for me—my mom, my job, and now my dad. I didn’t want to see it at first. Didn’t want to accept that his mind was failing. It was the final straw to my own sanity.”

  He inched closer reaching his arm around her shoulder. “I’m sorry. I really am. But, I know one thing. You’re far too talented to be out of work long. You fixed everything for Anna in just a few hours, and did so in a way that made everyone happy.”

  “I need a new start. Or maybe it’s an old start, I don’t know. I’m moving home permanently. I already talked to the owner of that empty building on Main. I’m going to rent it and start a law practice here.”

  She didn’t know what she expected Nate’s reaction to be but the confusion that clouded his eyes wasn’t it. He pulled up, twisted his body on the cushion. “That’s huge! I don’t know if you should make that big of a decision when you’re so upset about your dad.”

  “For the first time in months, I know that I’m making the right choices. I only wish I’d had the courage to make them while my mother was still alive.”

  He grazed her shoulder with his fingertips. “But the type of work you’ll get, and the amount of it, it’s going to be drastically different.”

  She crossed her arms in front of her chest and pulled her knees up, resting her heels on the couch cushion. “I feel like you don’t want me to move back here.”

  His fingers traced down her jawline. “Are you kidding? It would be amazing to really have you close, but it won’t work if you aren’t true to yourself. I’m not so sure this is where you belong. You might feel safe here, but is that the kind of person you are? Or are you the person who kicks in doors and shakes things up?”

  She moved closer to him and he guided her to straddle his lap. She leaned in kissing his lips softly. “I’m tired of running away. I want to come home. To you. Am I too late to try?”

  He gripped her hips, pulled her closer. “No. You’re not.”

  She rested her forehead on his, “And I want you to know that until we sort this all out between us, you can keep a horse for Lori at the house. I don’t want you to have to put that dream of hers on hold. The only thing I want to do first is check out the barn roof. My dad said it needs some repairs.”

  His hands encased his cheeks. “We don’t have to worry about any of that right now. I want to give this some time, see where it goes.”

  She pulled back. “You still don’t trust me.”

  “It’s been a long time, eight years. There’s no way to tell yet if there’s enough here to build a long term relationship.”

  “I get that, but didn’t you hear me? I’m not going anywhere.”

  “I can’t get Lori’s hopes up on anything I’m not sure about. I think getting her a horse and keeping it at your house would give her a sense that you’re going to be a part of her life for a long time—”

  “And you just don’t think that will happen?”

  “I don’t know. Neither do you.”

  Hailey slid off Nate’s lap, so that she was standing in front of him. “I don’t want us to expect this to fail. I don’t like being someone you can’t trust.”

  “It’s not about that. If it was just about me, I could jump in with blind hope, but it’s not. Lori’s welfare will always be a top priority. You need to know that going in.”

  “I do. And I wouldn’t change that about you for anything. You’re a wonderful father.”

  Nate stood, closed the distance between them, and took her hands in his. “There’s no reason to rush this, especially if you’re moving here. I don’t want Lori unnecessarily hurt, but that’s not about trusting you. It’s about not knowing how we fit anymore.”

  She pressed her hips tight to his. “I think in time, we’ll fit together pretty well.”

  He slid a finger under her chin. “How much time?”

  Hailey pushed up on her tiptoes and nipped at his chin. “After last night, I decided to let you set the pace.”

  Nate leaned over her, sliding his mouth against her neck, then tickling her ear with his tongue. “I’ve been thinking about what you said last night about letting go and seeing where it takes us.”

  “Are you sure?” She captured his lips with her own, savored the taste of the wine still lingering on his lips.

  “No, I’m not. But I think it’s worth the risk.” He kissed her again, this time tugging at the buttons of her blouse, pulling two of them open. “How about you? You said you want to see where this takes us. Ready to let go and jump?”

  “I’m more than ready.” She let her hands slide down the front of her blouse, pulling the fabric that was unbuttoned back together. “But you’re not. You need to trust me first, and I can wait until you figure that out.”

>   Chapter Seventeen

  Nate pulled the truck up the long driveway, surprised not to see Hailey’s car sitting near the house. He’d talked to her twice today and both times she’d confirmed she would meet him here at three p.m.

  He swallowed the nervousness, and put the car into park. It was just three now. Any number of things could be holding her up.

  Lori undid her seatbelt and knelt up on the seat. She leaned across Nate’s lap and pointed toward the barn and the fenced in paddock. “Why not… k-k-keep horses… here?”

  “Hailey told you the other night she doesn’t ride anymore. Do you want to go see the barn?”

  She quickly nodded, her hair falling into her eyes.

  Before his door was even open, Lori had both feet on the ground and was running through snow toward the large building. Nate caught up and helped her push open the door, allowing Lori to run ahead of him. As Lori peeked inside an empty stall, he walked the length of the aisle, studying the line of the roof, trying to find the spot that Hailey mentioned needed to be fixed.

  When he hit the gate, and turned back, he noticed the spot over the hayloft. Four boards were sagging in.

  He grabbed a hold of one of the ladder rungs and hoisted himself up, climbing into the loft to take a closer look. The few sagging boards were beginning to rot, but the joist beneath them still seemed solid. He suspected a loose shingle or two and counted himself—and the Lamberts—lucky it wouldn’t take much to fix it.

  Hailey’s voice sounded down the barn aisle. “I’m sorry I’m running late. The doctor came in to check on Dad just as I was getting ready to leave.”

  Nate came down the ladder and looked toward the door. Lori came from the empty stall and ran toward Hailey. “It’s okay. We haven’t been waiting long. I found the spot in the roof your dad is worried about. It won’t take much to fix it. I can do it this week.”

  “Wonderful. He’ll be so relieved to hear that. I just want to change my clothes and we can leave. It’ll only take a few minutes. Do you want to come in the house?

  “That’s okay,” Nate answered. “We’ll wait out here.” He checked his watch as he and Lori headed back to the truck. Her uncle’s house wasn’t that far away, but they were burning daylight. In another hour it would be dark.

  Just as he got Lori fastened back into the truck and the engine flipped over, Hailey opened the passenger door and slid in next to Lori. He’d expected her to change out of her business wear into more barn appropriate clothing, but the only thing she’d exchanged was her dress shoes for a pair of snow boots and the suede coat for an old denim one that looked big enough to be her brother’s. She dropped a canvas bag to the floorboard.

  “Do you know where we’re going?” She asked as she snapped the seat belt into place.

  “Down one mile to Sturm and then south about a mile and a half?”

  “You got it.”

  He hadn’t even reached the end of the driveway before Lori was craning her neck trying to see what Hailey had in the bag. Finally, her curiosity got the better of her. “What do…you have…there?”

  “Lori!” Nate chastised.

  “It’s okay.” Hailey picked up the bag from the floor and opened it, letting Lori look inside.

  “C-c-carrots!”

  “As I recall, Polly could never get enough of them.”

  Lori and Hailey fell into an easy conversation—well as easy as Lori could. What surprised Nate was that Lori didn’t retreat to sign language or try to hide behind him.

  When Anna had told him she talked at the barn, he didn’t imagine it was like this. She still stammered, but she didn’t let it stifle her train of thought.

  When they pulled into her uncle’s drive, Nate noticed the house lit up, but the barn looked quiet.

  “My uncle said he’d bring the horses in and give them their grain, but I told him we’d give them their hay. Would you like to help me?”

  “Yes!” Lori said. “I help…Aunt Anna…I know…how t-t-to do it.”

  “You can just pull up to the barn,” She directed to Nate.

  As soon as he put the truck into park, Hailey opened the door and Lori followed her out. They were inside the barn, before Nate was even out of the vehicle. He hung back and watched the two of them feed the pony carrots.

  “They look hungry,” Hailey said and climbed the ladder into the hayloft. She threw a bale over the side.

  “H-h-how much…H-h-hailey?” Lori called out.

  “Polly and the paint pony get three flakes each and that big bay gets four.”

  Lori began breaking up the bale, and Nate joined her. He carried the flakes as she separated them. They had given both ponies their hay by the time Hailey was down from the loft. She picked up two flakes, while Lori and Nate grabbed one each and they tossed them into the stall with the bay mare.

  “How does their water look?” Hailey asked.

  “G-g-good.” Lori answered.

  “Great.” Hailey answered. “I’m really impressed. You know a lot about horses. Anna and Mrs. Crawford must be really good teachers.”

  “They are,” Lori said.

  Nate picked Lori up and rested her on his hip so that she could watch the pony over the stall door. With a little encouragement, Hailey was able to get Lori to explain to Nate what face marking—a blaze—Polly had. Lori also chattered to Hailey about how she helped some of the other kids groom horses before they rode.

  “Would you like to brush Polly?” Hailey asked.

  Lori nodded. “Do you…have b-b-brushes?”

  “My uncle must have them here somewhere. Let’s go look.”

  Hailey led Lori down the barn aisle and into a small tack room. On the shelf, they found a box with an assortment of grooming tools. Hailey picked up a soft brush, handing it to Lori. “How about this one?”

  “T-t-this is a…good choice,” Lori said.

  Lori led Hailey and Nate back to the stall. Hailey put the pony’s harness and lead line on, before bringing it out of the stall. She handed the cord to Nate, who looked a bit dumbfounded.

  “It’s okay,” Hailey said. “She’s not going to do anything. Just stand there and hold it.”

  He did as he was told and watched as the other two treated the pony to a thorough brushing. Afterward, they returned the pony to the stall and the brush to the tack room before turning off the lights and heading back toward the truck. As Hailey pulled the big door shut all on her own, Nate couldn’t help but notice, the side of her he thought had faded away was still there. She didn’t shy from the climbing in the loft or feeding the animals. She’d helped Lori brush the pony and his daughter had experienced a wonderful evening that she wouldn’t soon forget.

  “Daddy…I want my…own horse.” Lori said after they had pulled away from the farm and turned out onto the dark, country road.

  Nate exhaled a deep breath. “I’m working on it, sweetheart.”

  Lori yawned as she curled up against him. He wrapped an arm around his daughter’s shoulder. “We have to get a house with enough land for it to graze and a barn for shelter,” he continued to speak aloud.

  “I’m hungry.” Lori switched gears, as if his talking about feeding the horse had reminded her of her own empty belly.

  Nate squeezed her shoulder. “I could eat too.” He flickered his gaze from the road to Hailey and back. “Would you like come back to my place for dinner. Lori and I can cook. Huh?”

  Lori nodded.

  “I’d like that, but,” Hailey paused. He could tell something was heavy on her mind, but before he could ask her what it was, she continued. “We should stop by my place and pick up my car, then you won’t have to worry about bringing me home later.”

  ****

  “Are you sure you don’t want me to help clean up?” Hailey asked as Nate picked up the last of the dinner plates.

  “I’m sure. Lori and I got this under control.”

  Lori nodded big. After tugging on Nate’s pants to get his attention, she signed to him. />
  He paused and answered her in the same way and the child pushed one of the chairs from the table to the refrigerator. Stepping up on it, she opened the freezer and came back with a carton of ice cream.

  “What about…Aunt Anna?” Lori asked.

  Anna had come home when they were half way through dinner. She’d hastily made a plate and excused herself. Fleeing to her bedroom, Hailey imagined. She felt a little guilty that the woman felt the need to hide out in her own house, and was glad Lori had remembered her.

  “Why don’t you see if she’ll join us for dessert?” Hailey asked Nate.

  “I’ll…do it.” Lori said, running from the room.

  When they were alone, Hailey laughed. “I get tired watching her. She’s such a ball of energy!”

  Nate’s smile lit up his whole face. He brought a white box that had the diner logo on the top from the counter and set it on the table. When he lifted the lid, the smell of apples hit her senses even before he pulled out the pie. “She had a great time tonight. I appreciate you doing that for her.”

  “I enjoyed it too.”

  He began cutting the pie, and placing the pieces on small dessert plates. “Is Dutch apple still your favorite?”

  “How do you know that? I don’t remember ever telling you.”

  He only dished three plates, before pushing the pie to the center of the table and adding a small scoop of the vanilla ice cream to each plate. “I remember everything about that date. The green tank top you wore with white jeans. You had your hair pulled back into a high ponytail with a ribbon that matched your shirt. I remember the way your flip-flops echoed in the empty diner as you walked across the tile floor.”

  Hailey’s heart melted and she closed her eyes to the emotions bubbling up. “I had so much fun with you. Always did. Even when all of us kids just hung out together.”

  Lori came running back into the kitchen. She climbed up into the chair and pulled the unclaimed plate toward her. “She says…she’s n-not…hungry.”